Reading Time: 2 minutes

Oooooh writer, you think you’re so cool.

Oooooh writer, the ever-suffering fool.

I see that page, that pen, that look in your eye. It’s not cannabis that gives you that overwhelming high.

Your mind is a wonderland, though that body could use some work. What do you put into it?

Coffee – coffee – tea – coffee – coffee – Wheeeeee!

Oooooh writer, the way you sit and tap those keys.

Oooooh writer, you make so many weak in the knees.

You spill your heart, you splash your mind, your guts take a solid beating. Hundred words don’t seem too much, but they carry so much meaning.

Voices and stares intrude your sacred space. You want to scream. But you push them away with that disgruntled face.

Oooooh writer, mommy loves what you write.

Oooooh writer, daddy is really trying to love it too.

Your first book. Your fifty-seventh poem. Your write-up on constipation. Which way do you think you’re going?

There’s a line that divides. Which side do you stand on? Do you write to live or are you dying to write? Don’t always grin and bear it. That looks kind of stupid.

Oooooh writer, you got to pay those bills.

Oooooh writer, some words ain’t worth a dime.

Why won’t they read you? Maybe you need to beg. How about stand at the street corner and yell – A free hug with every book! That ought to make them come running.

Change that boring style. Not your writing, those clothes and that outdated look. Add some feathers or a pom-pom. Splurge on chains, hooks, and handcuffs. You’re the one who shrieks good writing is creative bondage.

Oooooh writer, show us what you got.

Oooooh writer, crap out every lousy thought.

Step out in your tightest attire. Don’t worry about that paunch, it’ll squeeze and rise to your chest. Readers love an ample bosom.

Men, you may want to think this through.

Write till you drop. Who needs to shop? You’ll never buy anything with those measly donations.

Oooooh writer, you’ve got so much skill.

Oooooh writer, your profession is a sour pill.

Every day you swallow and cringe. Like for a like, follow for a follow. Please leave a review. Let me know what you think. You’re the bewildered captain of your own sinking ship.

But never despair, your friends and well-wishers are there.

What?! They never read what you write?

That’s the saddest story you’ve ever told.


You deserve a Pulitzer.

Oooooh Writer! I’m talking to you. Send your writing to
What the hell you waiting for?!
Check the guidelines HERE!

68 Comments on “Oooooh Writer – You Think You’re So Cool!

  1. love that ending; love how you examine the different compulsions of a writer: now I have to decide where do I fit in all this? 🙂

  2. I could not agree more with you “your friends and well-wishers are there.” 🙂 Your lines are full of truth!

  3. Just read your story after posting my daily blog – bit of serendipity here. I had a ‘writer’s rant’ of my own today. Not in Pulitzer territory, however. Just a wee silly rant about writing. I loved your piece and the thought process of the writer in your story. It felt like a rap, like something that should be performed out loud. There’s a rhythm to it, many lines read like poetry and I really liked that.

    • Britta, I think there’s something in the air. Though Scotland and India are quite far apart, but we writers share some exotic writer frequency. Rants can be so satisfying. Tried to give it some rhythm. I was writing it in a tune of my own. Rap is awesome.
      Just had to get it out. Haha!
      Thank you so much! 🙂

      • Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks to you, India feels a lot closer to Scotland than my atlas would want me to believe!

  4. You made me laugh, Terveen!!
    So true, the deserving ones are those whose books overwhelms us because they show us the life we tend to run from – in books.
    Love this: “Do you write to live or are you dying to write?”. So many writers’s life story.

    • Thank you so much, Patricia! 🙂
      This made me laugh too, quite a few times, while writing it.
      We often read those stories that we connect with on an emotional level. Could be good or bad. That’s why dark subjects attract me.
      Indeed it’s a question we writers often ask ourselves.

  5. My god! this is like everything I wanted to write but you put it into much better words …………
    woah !!

  6. Oooooh Terveen – what a post! Writers – it’s all about talking the talk. Forget walking the walk – except to maybe the fridge or the kettle 😂

    • Haha! That’s so hilarious and true.
      Writers will be writers. Can’t take away their words or their sweet, caffeinated desires.
      Thank you so much, AP2. 🙂

  7. I am your coolest writer
    Have a tattoo’d cat (on neck)
    Wrote a poem about it
    ‘Cat Sat On the Mat’

    No buyers. Am i doing something wrong?……

    Am always constipated
    Constipated, sigh
    Wrote a poem about it but
    No-one wants to buy

    Shit. I can’t win……..

    I’m told don’t give up. Your Pulitzer awaits you……

    • Lol. I think you’re on the right track, Don.
      Have you noticed that your comments could be great posts?
      What’s up with this?
      This is a sign. Put them out there.

  8. “Splurge on chains, hooks, and handcuffs. You’re the one who shrieks good writing is creative bondage.” Love that line. It made me laugh out loud! 🙂

  9. you sure a writer’s writer! you sense of humor based on some real thoughts mad this a blast…without a count down. A real enjoyment to read!

  10. Wow…. I really loved it. Each and every line carried a lot of emotions. I felt so connected with this. Excellent work…

  11. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, talk about my writing and the liberties I take with language and story structure all you want, drag my sentences through the muck and mire, expose my characters for their shallow stereotypes, and poke holes in my questionable denouements… but how dare you, madame? How bloody dare you speak so poorly of my physical form and question the type of fuel needed to keep the engine running?

    You may not have heard, but dem’s fightin’ woids!

    Not all of us breathe the same rarified air as you. While you trip the literary light fantastic and beauty sprouts from the ground wherever your words land, and the bluebirds of creativity flit around your head, forming a crown to announce your status to all the subjects who are fortunate enough to briefly inhabit your sphere of influence…the rest of us poor hacks have to slave over each word, agonize over placing them in the right order, and pray that someone out in the readerverse can make sense of the convoluted madness that spills onto the page.

    • LOL!
      Rhyan, my intention was not to offend and I must say it again, your writing is so creative and beautiful. You sweep away the reader in a refreshing wave of wordplay and energizing emotions. It’s no longer about me or you, your words are the rulers of the writing domain.
      I wish my words had such a magical and enchanting effect as mentioned by your tasteful description.
      Well, I am learning. And it’s never too late to improve oneself.
      And the physical form should be robust enough to sit on its butt and endure long hours of writing. Coffee, tea, or whatever intoxicants one wishes to down is a matter of personal taste and choice.
      Thanks so much for your Blockbuster comment. 🙂

  12. Interesting, the fear and the insecurities of someone wielding a pen!! hope everyone has the security of loved ones to buffer against these daily struggles and trepidations..

  13. Haha, but it’s true. ‘Write to live, not dying to write’ or writing to die😀. In the end, one still begs for appreciation or notice, ‘a hug’. We take care while at it.

  14. Wow.. This was something very different! I like how you talk about writers and what they must go through them! It is not easy.. But you made it look like that! Stay blessed! 😇🌹

  15. This feels so honest! This is a different shade to your writing I feel. It felt more like a poem. Well written Terveen!

  16. Pingback: You Can Never Be Too Short - Flash Fiction Story | It Ain't Right Till I Write

It Ain't Right Till You Comment. Go Ahead!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.