Are you one of those people who seem fairly normal and upbeat?

Are you one of those people who work hard, and look forward to some good old relaxation?

Does summer and winter induce mixed responses from your psyche?

Does the heat make you perspire with glee?

Does the cold make you shiver, and clack your knees?

But, what about the HOLIDAY SEASON?

Is the holiday spirit too much to digest? Does it leave a dull pain in your chest?

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Every time you see people laughing and talking about festive cheer, do you just want to growl, mock and jeer?

Could it be that too much joy and pomp make you fume and stomp?

How about the pretty sights of lights and sounds? Is that why your head won’t stop to pound?

Oh and the parties, and show-offs galore, they’ll make you scream…

‘I CAN’T BLOODY TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!’

Come sit next to me, if you please, come on…don’t be such a tease.

Let’s go through a list of what goes on in the mind of a hopeless grouch during the holiday grind.   

1. I don’t need wine, just let me whine!

Does the world suddenly seem hopeless? Have you realized that your life is meaningless? Do the birds no longer sing upon your porch?

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2. I’m frozen, literally!

Has the cold chilled your bones? Are your mind and heart frozen? Could icicles form upon your frigid nature?

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3. HICC…I’m feeling better!

Is everything so boring when you’re sober? Will you feel fine after a bottle of wine? How much intoxication could relieve your holiday constipation?

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4. I’m greedy, ho-ho-ho!

Are you counting each present you get? Do you wish for chocolates, or a pair of comfy sneakers? Should each gift keep getting bigger and better?

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5. I’m nice with sugar and spice!

Is a slice of cake or a chewy cookie your long lost love? Does your sweet tooth make you crave for muffins and sweet buns? Is the world more beautiful when you have a mouthful of sugar?

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6. I can’t party, I’m a dull, old farty!

Do people make you cringe? Would you rather sleep than groove to the beat? Are you the one in the corner with a frown and a pout?

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7. I’m happy too, but without you!

Do you have newfound gratitude for solitude? Happy this…and Merry that…how about a punch, or a hard and tight slap? Could you spread some cheer and kindly disappear?

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If you can relate to all that’s been said, then you’re smarter than you look with a round and stable head!

Cheers!

Enjoy the holiday mood!

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