Reading Time: < 1 minute


A man’s had too much to drink.

He sits and belches out his wisdom.

His wife’s found out about his girlfriend.

What can he say so that she forgives him?

Please read ahead and click the blue link to find out. Thanks!

He was sitting on his porch, drunk, ranting. It was three in the afternoon, four empty bottles sat beside him, the fifth in his hand, three sips down. His speech was slurring, his eyes were shifting, it was time to impart some wisdom to the sidewalk, scare the children on their way home from school. […]

Never Date a Woman who Don’t Respect your Wife by Terveen Gill — Gobblers & Masticadores

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42 Comments on “Never Date a Woman who Don’t Respect your Wife by Terveen Gill — Gobblers & Masticadores

  1. It was a hilarious story. Absolutely enjoyed it. All his mannerisms triggers memories of so many of the older men from my youth who would sit at their gates with a half finished bottle watching us okay ball, and sharing their pearls of wisdom great stuff!!

    • I can imagine that, Nigel. The pearls of wisdom get better and better as the bottle finishes off. Lol. Some can be really profound. Thanks so much for the appreciation. 🙂

  2. The man looked at his watch. It had been either two hours or two days since he’d seen her whichever was shorter.

    Hahahahaha! Excellent, Terveen <3


  3. Hmmm…Never date any woman who isn’t your wife. It’s safer. ☺️

  4. Wow, the title itself has been pretty intriguing. Things, like always were quite quick and even before one could empathize with the husband, swoosh…its all gone!!! Great writing, dark humor and awesome punchlines.. make me wanna copy your style!!

    • Thanks so much, Deepak. That’s a HUGE compliment. Maybe drunk writing is my thing. Not me drunk, I mean the character. Lol. Take care. 🙂

  5. Totally love this one, Terveen. The line David quoted above is indeed hilarious, and one of many gems in this piece. I kept thinking this is a perfect snapshot of contemporary America, whose off-kilter porch is littered with plenty of empties. Seriously, you have a gift, my friend. Thanks for exposing the human condition so eloquently and so humorously. 🙂

    • Thanks so much, Mike! Life and its many, many shades. Laugh, cry, or sulk, every day passes by and offers another opportunity to live a little more. Let’s hope that drunken wisdoms aren’t the only wisdoms left in this world. Love your awesome comment and cheers to many more. 🙂

  6. a terrific tale; you excelled yourself on this one; you got the pacing right, the tension, the diction, the detail; what a whopper of an ending 🙂

  7. I don’t know how a book hasn’t been written about the wisdom of drunken men, Terveen. (And the replies of scorned wives.) Another of your classic tales which keep you gripped to the unexpected ending.

    • Thanks so much, Davy. I’d like to read a book like that. Would be quite the entertainer. Haha. The Intoxicated Intellect perhaps. 🙂

  8. Wow, did the wife killed both? Haha, that is very bloody. You always have your ways with your ending, never as what I would expect.

  9. drink
    sot shouldda thought
    about it
    being sober
    blue cold
    and testasterone
    is an app on ya modern day phone

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