If ‘Worrier or Warrior’ don’t seem to ring a bell, then that could mean either of two things.
Either you’re not much of a reader or you’re totally an unimaginative person.
How many of you are offended by the above statement?
If you are offended, then that could mean either of two things.
Either you’re easily offended, or the words did graze a touchy vein.
And if you’re not offended, then that could mean either of two things.
Either you didn’t understand the statement, or you’re just a cool cat who’s not easily bothered.
Now, this type of analysis could go on forever.
If THIS is THIS, then THAT is THAT.
And, if THIS isn’t THIS, then would THAT be THAT?
What if THIS turned into THAT and THAT turned into SOMETHING ELSE.
Then THIS and THAT would never be the same again!!
How many of you would like to slap me out of THIS & THAT delirium?
Hmm…I wonder if a slap would ensure the end of such chaotic babbling.
I think each one of us needs to be slapped, and not just once, but many times around.
No, this isn’t a post on self-penance. Nor is it an advertisement for self-harm.
However, my words should definitely be considered as a wake-up call!
WAKE UP all you worriers! It’s time to stop worrying!
Ahhhh…blank stares…I see…you have no idea what I’m talking about.
Well let me refresh your memory a bit.
Life is what it is, and many of us have been conditioned (or should I say punched, kicked and dragged around lifelessly) to understand this phrase better.
Life is like a jigsaw puzzle, but there’s a catch. The number of pieces seem to fluctuate, and the final picture keeps changing shape, size and form.
In the beginning, we open the box, and pounce upon these tiny pieces with enthusiasm and determination, and an unspoken promise that their union will reveal a bigger picture. We try fitting them together, in every possible way we know. We use our intelligence, experience, and better judgment to eradicate our own confusion.
But what happens when the pieces don’t exactly fit together? And the picture that we expected them to form doesn’t simply materialize?
Do we give up and run way, crying tears of disappointment? Or, do we continue to fit piece after piece together while the frustration in our minds trickles towards our hearts.
Since life isn’t a puzzle that allows us to quit, we live with frustration and desperation, torn between quitting or continuing to struggle. And if this scenario isn’t tormenting enough, we dip our miseries in worry to enhance the bitter taste.
Worry becomes our partner, always ready to lend a hand of despair. But how does this devious partner form such a strong bond with us? Does it offer us riches? Does it bribe us with power? Does it promise us a better life?
The obvious answer to the above questions is a big fat NO!
So, if worry doesn’t make our lives any better or prettier, why do we cling to it?
Because worry works on the fantastic principle of ‘WHAT IF’.
What if I forget to lock the front door?
What if I flunk in the History test?
What if I don’t wake up tomorrow?
What if my best friend stops talking to me?
What if no one looks after me when I’m old?
As you can see for yourself, WHAT IF is a very abstract phrase, yet its negative impact is very real. It’s the harbinger of baseless fears. Fears that have no foundation but fear itself.
Worry rules our lives when we look at the world with pessimistic vision.
This is going to go wrong.
That will never improve.
They are too busy to care.
I will never be good enough
Worry is the storm that rages on, destroying the peace and quiet of vulnerable minds. It influences us to shift our focus from the puzzle in front of us, and instead concentrate our energies upon all things absurd and negative.
These are just some of the outcomes of living a worried life. Worriers play and replay catastrophes in their minds, thus multiplying stress and distress. Their catastrophic thinking is neither logical nor explainable. If one worry ends, the other worry begins. It’s a chain reaction where the catalyst is just a spark of doubt, or a drop of fear.
However, some of you may proudly say that you worry to the minimum. You are constantly defining and redefining yourselves so that you can continue to solve that jigsaw puzzle called LIFE.
You have no time for worries, and instead invest your time and energies in understanding your shortcomings and overcoming your insecurities. Life is a worthy challenge and not a burning pit in hell where the devil wishes to roast and eat you.
Warriors often disconnect from the negativity around them.
They aren’t weighed down by it, and by no means allow themselves to be sucked into its immense black hole.
One negative thought doesn’t trigger a tsunami of negative thoughts. Could this be a consequence of self-confidence and self-assurance? Does the WHAT IF principle fall weak upon its knees when thoughts are directed inwards and not outwards?
Let’s examine a real-life scenario.
Two men, Mr A and Mr. B work in the same company. In fact, they are colleagues in the same department. Unfortunately, the company is heading towards bankruptcy and to cut costs, many employees are being laid off.
Mr. A and Mr. B are not spared and are shown the door, even though both have impeccable records. Their final paycheques are issued to them, and they leave with heavy hearts and burdened minds .
Both men make a beeline for the nearest bar. They drown their sorrows and anger in beer, mug after mug after mug, chugging as much beer as they can. When it’s almost dark, they head to their respective homes, and hit the sack.
The next morning, Mr. A wakes up early and begins sending his resume to companies with matching job profiles. He’s still depressed, but it doesn’t hinder him from thinking about the future with renewed hope and vigour.
He knows that wallowing in misery and worrying won’t enhance his chances of finding a new job. He would rather analyse his past actions, work upon his present strengths, and broaden his future prospects.
Mr. B rolls out of bed at around noon, and then mopes around till 5 before hitting the bar for another round of beers. He’s not thinking about the future, or embracing the challenge facing him. He’s avoiding the problem. He’s resisting the change that has occurred.
He’s not looking inwards for strength and reassurance. In fact, he’s searching for external stimuli to soothe his fears and anxieties. He’s worried about failure. Since he’s failed once, what’s stopping him from failing again?
Mr. A and Mr. B are two different individuals having suffered the same setback in life, but their approach to analysing the problem, and placing the pieces in order is dependent upon their Warrior and Worrier mindsets.
Maybe Mr. A is more fortunate than Mr. B and losing a job doesn’t affect him as badly. Or maybe Mr. B is prone to exaggerating hardships and escalating them beyond a rational point of repair.
Dwelling in the past and fearing the future robs us of a peaceful now.
Worriers will ask, ‘WHAT IF life ends tomorrow…’
Warriors will say, ‘Let’s just live the best we can today…’