If I wasn’t me, I wouldn’t have liked myself one bit.
I’m just plain nasty. Mean. Sarcastic. Arrogant. Selfish. Bad listener.
Oh. A whiskey drinker. Nothing wrong with that. But it does make me nastier.
And I love to make excuses. Refer to the above line. Alcohol doesn’t spark bad behavior.
Good thing I’m not a liar.
My parents raised me well. Love, care, security, and a lavish display of manners. Lying, cheating, and greed were abominable sins. God bless their souls for trying to make me an honorable man.
But some bad apples can never transform their basic natures.
You may say I was spoiled. No. I have two other siblings to vouch for that. They are downright friendly, cheerful, and too forgiving. When they’re in the vicinity even the air seems cooler and fresher.
They say I should be better. I say – next time just write me a letter. So I won’t have to look at a pair of annoying faces.
Why am I such an unpleasant sight? Beats me. Could be a karmic reaction. Past life syndrome.
See. Another excuse. I make them from dawn to dusk. Keeps me from drowning in my sour mood.
If you’re thinking – what a sore loser. I’ll have you know I’m a successful restaurateur. Money isn’t the issue. My home is bigger and grander than that box you probably live in.
Women have been my weakness. But when their mouths stay appropriately closed. I don’t understand what’s there to discuss. Tongues were made for much better business.
I hear those groans and repulsive comments. Go on. I’ll just roll my eyes at you.
Do you think a man like me cares for bitter judgments?
And I’m not alone. My circle of friends, if not worse, are just like me. Men and women looking for similar distastefulness. We share and compare and release our negative vibes. Complimenting one another on our give-a-damn attitudes.
At times, lonely nights are the only intervals for forced reflections. I toss and turn, prying myself loose from thoughts of being nicer and kinder.
Who needs that?
I’m fine the way I am. Never smiling. Ever complaining. Give me my solitude. I’ll spare you the indignity of my callous temper.
You’re happy, I’m grumpy. We can coexist freely. Obviously, me on a much superior level. Your plainness is no match to my spectacular nature.
But yes, I agree. If I wasn’t me, I would’ve hated myself with a brutal vengeance.
Who would condone such ridiculous nonsense?
Oh yes. I’m also a hypocrite.
They Left Me Here To Die. That’s their biggest mistake. Now it’s time for payback. I will get even.