Hi, is that really you? How’s it going?
Are you surprised to see me?
You don’t know me? How can that be?
Remember that lemon tree? On the corner of Bradbury Street?
Are you kidding me? How could you forget? Am I confused? Or are you plain mean?
Why does this always happen to me? Is my life a big joke? Or is karma biting me in my ass?
Don’t you remember this face? And this pink dress? How about my Gucci purse? And these Prada shoes?
Who are you?
Have I gained weight? Maybe a little around my ankles? Is that why you can’t recognize me?
Why can’t I stop eating ice cream? Who can resist vanilla and chocolate? Did I tell you about my love for wafers?
Is today Wednesday? Is that sale still on at Costco? Why can’t I stop thinking about ice cream?
Will you please slap me?
Why would I do that?
Are you just insensitive? Didn’t your parents teach you any manners? Do you have some male chauvinistic superiority complex?
Why won’t you answer me?
Do you want me to leave? Is that your master plan? What other crazy thoughts are running through your head?
Where is this even going?
Have you no decency? How about an ounce of shame? Why am I crying? Could I borrow that handkerchief?
Do you want it back? No? Sure?
When will things get better? Am I being silly? A little ignorant? Why did I skip my morning yoga?
Will you join me for coffee? Or maybe tea?
Why are there so many choices?
Are you okay?
Does it really matter? Do you hate me, Nick?
Nick? Who’s that?
Are you serious? Have I been talking to the wrong guy? Why do you all look the same? Is that my problem too?
Why are you still standing here? Haven’t I been harassed enough?
Are you stupid or crazy?
Do you really want to find out? How about I call the police? Huh? Would you like that?
Where’s my phone? Ummm…could I borrow yours?
She woke up one morning, And They Were Gone. Just like that. She doesn’t know what happened. Or does she?