When in Rome do as the Romans do. (What do they actually do?)

When in Writer’s Land do as the Writers do. (Ok…this is even weirder)

Firstly, I don’t think there’s any Writer’s Land. Secondly, I doubt that there’s any code of conduct or any set customs that writers follow. Writers can be categorized under the Writer Tag, but do they actually fit into a group with common qualities and characteristics?

Suppose we round up about fifty different writers, lock them in a very large room, and give them about three hours to come up with a one thousand word article on ‘the most significant day of my life’. How do you think that would end?

Well…let’s just say that for something to end, it would first have to begin.

Writers are a conservative species with very distinct characteristics. Every writer has his or her own way of functioning. Some bank their writing hopes upon the ‘EUREKA’ moment, while others write as if they are strolling through an orchard picking fruit from the trees of ideas.

Some writers need complete silence while their work is in progress, while others could easily sit in the front row of a circus and get a massive chunk of writing done.

Then there are those writers who need catalysts and stimulants to get them started or keep them going. A couple cups of coffee, a favorite song, a pack of cigarettes, a glass of wine, a beautiful view, the right temperature, and maybe even some illegal substances. (SHHHHHH…nobody has to know…)

Writers can also be choosy about the way they wish to write. Some still adopt the pen and paper method. Now this can be subdivided into categories such as ‘that perfect pen’ and ‘only that blissful paper’, or the entire writing process could just end up in a catastrophic HELL.

Some writers need a keyboard to type away at. Now the keyboard could be attached to a desktop, or it could be on a laptop, or even on the screen of a phone. (OMG!!! How are they not blinded by the tiny words?!)

And then there are some writers who are the courageous kind, dangerously swinging between paper and keyboard to ultimately find themselves in the DUNGEON of Confused Writer, where they are mercilessly tortured by the EVIL VILLAIN ‘Darth Writer’.

(HAHAAHAA…now your story will die for this!!)

So RETURNING to the room with the fifty writers, I suppose that unlocking them and letting them go their own ways would be the most practical and safest solution.

A writer has a hard time dealing with the ‘high maintenance’ writer ego already residing inside his or her head.

So leaving the two alone to discuss, crib, cry, laugh, shout, and whine about the story that’s just not happening, or the story that is rushing along fine, or the story that turned out ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS daaaaaling, is the right thing to do.

Let’s take a look at a dialogue between a Writer and a Writer’s Ego.

A writer is a lonely being.

So let’s encourage a writer’s ego.

At least there’s a side to a writer that’ll never say ‘THE END’.