My suede pants are suffocating my buttocks.
The chair’s leather padding ensures that the sweat in the seat of my trousers fuses my skin to the uncomfortable fabric. I try to wriggle my cheeks free, but squirming is unbecoming of me right now.
The main culprit, the reason for my discomfort, is seated across from me behind a gigantic mahogany wood table. His name is Cal Murthy, and he is the dean of the university I have always dreamed of attending.
But dreams are not enough for securing a seat in such a prestigious institution. Years of studious devotion and single-minded focus make me a worthy candidate, a deserving brain and name to add to the student list.
My certificates and documents lay untouched in the black folder that has been pushed to one side. Carl Murthy’s interests lie not in my merits and grades but elsewhere. My application form rests beneath his palms.
He asks me the same question, only his words differ.
‘Are you really Suzy’s boy? She was quite a stunner.’
I shift in my seat. The moist leather emits a deep farting sound. I am more embarrassed by the man’s fixation.
‘Suzan Rodweinerheim Lobo is my mother. Yes, she is quite pretty.’
In silence, I swallow his insult. The man’s insinuations regarding my ugliness are abrasive.
‘But how do you know her?’
I squeak like a mouse. He chuckles and winks at me.
‘She and me go a long way back. More than buddies.’
I want to vomit, but it could ruin my chances of being selected. So I laugh like the funniest joke has been cracked. Mr. Murthy frowns upon it. His hand reaches for my folder.
‘522-5547. Suzan’s number. Just call her.’
I swap my mother for a confirmed admission. I am a die-hard opportunist.
She’s been scratching for weeks. The rash is getting worse. She wants to see a doctor. The Face On My Leg makes her change her decision.
an entertaining tale with a slammer of a finish !
Thanks John. Must end it with a bang! 🙂
indeed; that’s the rule for flash fiction; I like your writing; I am a follower 🙂
Thank you. I’m a fan too. Your writing is wonderful! 🙂
Haha 😄 what a funny story
Fascinated by the way you described the things going inside the head of every interviewee
And of-course, wonderful finish
Thank you Mayank! This story is an amusing take on seizing every possible opportunity, no matter how weird it can be. 🙂
Suzy can always say No
Now that’s a point to be considered. Maybe the (opportunist) mama’s boy can sway his mother in his direction. Cheers to old flames! 😉
Haha maybe they are gladly reunited…
Awesome ending. I hope mama can play along for some time till the boy has joined the university.
I hope so too. It might be in both their interests. 😉 Thank you so much!
Pimping mum out to gain admission into a prestigious university? What a cheeky tale you decided to share today. I can just picture you sweating over the details until you cracked the code of being able to deliver the story properly. My only hope is that the dean isn’t just farting around with an old flame and his reunion with mum is a positive one or it could have a dis-ass-trous effect on your protagonist’s educational future.
Stop me before I pun again.
Lol! You are the king of puns, and in this case – buns. Have you considered puns as a distinct writing option. Your talent is superb and I doubt if one could surpass your caliber. It’s not easy to pun around with such grace ad poise. A true wordsmith.
And yes, let’s hope Cal and Suzy can reignite an extinguished flame, or poor opportunist may have to take the blame.
As always, many many thanks! 🙂
I attempted to leave a comment, but I suspect Akismet viewed it as spam and didn’t want it stinking up the joint. I suppose I’ll need to work on my trashy humor. Probably for the best, anyway.
Nice share, as always.
An unnecessary stink created.
Good to have you back!
Cheers for that. I shall be on my best behavior from this day forward.
Fantastic story, Terveen. Didn’t see that coming at all. Hahahaha. 😆
Thanks Jeff. It really was a light bulb moment. 🙂
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Well, I am sure mom can take care of herself, ha, ha, ha. I guess it sums up to seizing the moment for your benefit!
The anthem of a true opportunist. I think mom might be more eager than him. Like mother, like son. Thanks Shobana!
Wow, this is very well written, Terveen! You have quite the talent! 🌞
Thank you, Lisa! Your spaghetti recipe has inspired me for a new story. Food is the best muse. 🙂