Get up and leave!
My mind screams, over and over. Otherwise, silent and poised, no one can tell I’m crumbling inside. It’s been months, maybe over a year. I thought time had done its job, healed me, rid me of the demons. But one look, and I’m defeated.
Is it so easy to destroy willpower? Tear it up into tiny pieces and watch it blow away.
But who would I ask?
No one has fought the battles I have. It’s too easy for them. Disciplined, motivated, optimistic, all the words that can never define me. Smiles on handsome faces, fashionable clothes on attractive bodies. Not a habit that could steal an inch of their dignity.
And here I am a misfit. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I have to leave. Right now!
I mumble an excuse, and retreat to the bathroom. I’ll stay here till it’s over. What’s a boring half-hour? Nothing compared to the damage I avoid. After what I’ve been through, it seems even more worth it.
But they won’t leave me alone. Knock-knock. I hold my breath. They can smell my fear. I’m apparently missing all the fun. No. My enemy lurks outside. I’m not ready to face it. They give up only to return with a powerful statement.
‘Grandpapa has an upset stomach.’
I open the door and exit just in time. I’m being pushed. It can’t be two hands, more like six of them. They’re taking me to it.
Oh no! I see it. It’s huge.
My eyes close. My hands dig in. My mouth opens wide.
Chocolate cake is my greatest enemy. They stare as I devour the delicious creation. All of it.
I stand with a beard of chocolate. Chocolate gloves upon my hands. The sinful enemy is dead.
Happy 100th birthday, Grandpapa.