Ok…I have to take a deep breath before I start this one.
Wait…five deep breaths, and maybe some yogic chanting.
Nahh!! That’s not going to work.
I’ll just dive in and hope to surface for air when I’m done.
Does this question even make any sense? Probably not!
But does anything really make any sense anymore?
Come on…I wasn’t prepared for either of the two scenarios.
I definitely didn’t become a parent after years of any rigorous training. Nor did I think that I’d end up raising a child single-handedly.
But child-rearing is most certainly a learning experience in itself.
And I’ve still got LOADS and LOADS to learn.
Same goes for writing…it wasn’t something that I studied or trained for.
But when I eventually got down to doing it, I made sure that I left no stone unturned.
My passion and exhilaration for creating new characters and stories, and arranging them in fabricated situations gives me a sense of control and achievement.
So I’m just someone looking for a big break as a Writer, and asking my kid to give me a bigger break as a Parent.
Sleepless and parenting should be synonyms.
So could ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ be remade as ‘Parenting in Seattle’?
I’ve been up at night for many years of my life pursuing the duties of parenting.
Sleep deprivation is not a pretty thing, and when it’s because of another tiny being, it can be even more ‘NOT PRETTIER’.
But since my child is now a teenager…
…I am no longer subjected to staying awake at night.
However, when I’m writing and strongly involved in my own thoughts and ideas, I’m unable to switch off at night.
The words, pictures, and conversations from a make-believe world keep sprinting through my mind. I’m unable to quiet the ruckus, yet also too tired to expel them upon paper.
But this just tells me that my brain still works even after years of ‘what in the hell is going on here’ parenting.
So I’m still sleepless while writing, and still very clueless while parenting.
I say this without any shame or remorse.
I’m still oblivious to the methods of correct parenting.
Are there even any?
When I try to discipline my kid, I’m the one who ends up in the corner facing the wall.
When I try to talk to my kid, I just end up yelling.
And when I try to give my kid a hug, it’s like an awkward football huddle.
However, when I begin to write a story, I pretty much know where I’m going.
I’ve learnt to develop my writing skills, and work on them every single day.
The turns and twists, the highs and lows, the laughs and tears continue to unfold according to my whims and fancies.
So I’m a calm and composed writer, but an anxious and distraught parent.
Wait…let me finish my nervous fit of laughter.
Of course some talent is required.
I’ve always considered myself quite versatile and talented.
I’m intelligent and organized, I have a compassionate heart, I’m humorous, I can shake a leg or two, and I’m a good writer.
But it’s quite ironic that NONE of these qualities or talents proved to come in handy while being a parent.
It seems as if they don’t figure anywhere on the list of ‘Good Parenting’ skills.
But yes, being humorous, organized and good at writing definitely boosted my skills as a writer.
These were the initial steps that made my climb towards the realization of my writing dreams a little easier.
So I’m talented enough to write, but not enough to be an Ideal Parent.
*I CAN’T BREATHE*
This question could actually be my last.
If you don’t hear from me after this blog post, please know that it wasn’t an accident.
Since I’ve put life, tears and toil into both, I guess I love them equally.
So I’m just saying that this love cannot be compared. It’s just too unique and special.
*DO I HEAR A CHAINSAW??*